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THE EPILOGUE: IT IS OUR FLAWS THAT MAKE US HUMAN!
Did you ever know someone that was totally unflappable. They just overcame all adversity and constantly met life with a cheery disposition. Those folks used to make me crazy. I studied Russian Literature and History in College, and I fell in love with their compassion for the doomed and the flawed. In their churches they used to have pictures of Jesus turning green from the crucifixion, totally gory paintings. I have no love for suffering, but I will always love a proud failure. When it is karaoke night the person that can really sing is never my favorite. It is the person who doesn't need the monitor because they have sung this song so many times and they are giving you everything. They might sound like a cat that has been stepped on but through it all you can still hear the passion! Their face and body are completely into it, but they just don't have the vocal skills to pull it off. I love those people. They inspire me way more than someone with a golden voice! The struggling person that manages to muster up the courage to face the world with hope, those are my people.
Sometimes you taste a bottle that is unbalanced but it is by design. The maker has a style, and they have made it to reflect that style, and it just isn't for everyone. St. George Terroir tastes like drinking a forest. For some, it is awful but for the rest of us it is magic! You have to have a certain amount of belief to create any specific taste. Not what the marketing data analyst shows you that the majority of people like. Not some kind of so clean you don't even know you drank it bottle. Give me the funk of a Hampden, the Iodine of Laphroaig, the tannins of a Nebbiolo, the soft intensity of a vintage Armagnac, the raspy blast of Tom Waits every single time. If Tom Waits had Sam Cookes voice, he would not have written those songs. I do not think anyone would describe Leonard Cohen's voice as pretty, but I personally love it and find it comforting. "I was born like this, I had no choice, I was born with the gift of a golden voice". Dylan and Leonard two of the greatest song writers in my lifetime have "flawed" voices but fortunately for all of us they have persisted. When they sat in the room creating boy bands no one would say "How about a John Prine type of sound?"
When I watched Good Will Hunting I wasn't inspired by Matt Damon's genius it was when Robin gave the speech about his wife. It was that he missed her terrible farts in her sleep and that was the "good stuff". When it comes to my exes, I miss the way this one could not let the different parts of the meal touch, and that one would yell and sing made up songs during movie trailers for movies she wanted to see "ahhhhh I want to watch this so don't spoil it now mr trailer man oh mr trailer man please don't give it all away cause I want to see it some day". How this one was terrified of the rain and that one stared at the menu for twenty minutes and then made me order for her. This one made me unpack the suitcase neatly when we checked into a hotel and that one dumped her suitcase on the floor. What a terribly boring world it would be if we were all "perfect". Many Japanese consider the small part of the rice that is a bit burnt the best part. I love that part of the rice as well and am sometimes willing to fly too close to the sun to try and make it happen. I had a mutt, Amber who was a mix of so many breeds no one could even identify what kind of dog she was.
We spend an incredible amount of time roasting ourselves for our flaws and mistakes when many times they are absolutely marvelous! So many people get picked on for their laughs and I absolutely hate mine but there are people that love mine. Almost all of my favorite laughs are unique. Also making fun of the way someone laughs is so gross. There they are experiencing joy, and you are like "nope, you are doing it wrong and should be embarrassed". Please go jump in a lake. When I praise flaws and unique folks, I don't mean the "hey that's just me I tell it like it is" crowd. A person that can't dance in a traditional manner but is throwing themselves into it in a joyful way is not the same as someone articulating why the dressing you made for Thanksgiving is awful in a six-point speech. My Father has dedicated his life to being the great teller of truths without ever knowing that a lot of people like aromatic food, hip hop music, beer, snow, and a hundred thousand other things that make no sense to him. The answer to his question and to so many other people's question of "why would anyone?" Because we LIKE it! I'm thrilled that "Home Remedy" tastes like Ricola!
But you know what? He is at least still genuine. He is always surprised to learn that someone is angry or crying because of his "honest" review. I would prefer that to someone coming after me only to make me feel smaller, so they feel bigger. Folks that play to the crowd by either virtue signaling or kicking the weirdo for sport are the ones that I loathe. We can all leave the house daily and try to make ourselves as small and invisible as possible in the pursuit of some kind of conflict free "perfection" but no one benefits from that. Care a lot and get your heart broken. If you don't care at all and without any stakes, are you even alive? From your perch on high, passing judgement down on others for making mistakes does it bring you any kind of joy? Making fun of things that people have no control over, being short, red headed etc, are you nourished by these attacks? Bill Murray said "Cubs fans have more character because we don't expect to win." We loved our one win more than they loved their 27! What you expect has a great impact on your life. Do you expect to be a flawless angel? Do you expect others to be perfect based on your own values? Is your compulsion to be "normal" overriding your senses.
"Yuck, I don't drink tequila". Cool, you can just skip it. I liked that movie but the one they made before was so much better! Isn't it awesome that they made another movie that you actually liked instead of all the ones you don't? When I look at Martin Scorsese I get so inspired. He is in his eighties and still trying to make magic. Whatever you think of his movies, you would never confuse them for anything generic. I didn't think The Aviator was in his top ten but the scene where Baldwin is talking to Leo outside the bathroom door was amazing. Him sitting there with Thelma in that editing room for months trying to make the vision that he dreamt of is so special to me. We don't need any other "just finish it because it has to come out this Summer" movies. We can just re-release past mediocre films because contrast is still important. There just isn't smooth without rough. No easy without hard. No close without distance. The thing about mediocrity is that it just absolutely blends together. The thing about "perfection" is that it is terribly dull. What do we learn from success? If you bet on Football games based on the way the crow squawks and keep winning you will be very surprised when you hit your 27 game losing streak later on. It is how we respond to adversity and pressure, and what we do after we are defeated that shows your character.
A lot of success is based on luck but one hundred percent of it is based on trying. Opportunities could be sailing by on a daily basis, but you never tried. You were so terrified of failing, of not being good enough, of being embarrassed to try, to want, to need, to even believe in yourself at all that you just played it safe. The singer Jewel ran away from home, shoplifted to survive and then negotiated an amazing record deal, and made one of the most successful debuts of all time. Marc Maron thought his career was finished so he decided to make a podcast that mostly consisted of him apologizing to comics he was fighting with. Now he has had a tv show, is in movies, and has a top five podcast. He had to just finally be himself and accept that he wasn't for everyone and not only did that launch his career it made him a better person. If we can start with "okay I'm not perfect" then we have room to improve. If we can accept our limitations or flaws if you need to call them that then we have space to go forward. Okay okay, I'm not going to be the person that always says the right thing, does the right thing, uses all of their time wisely and that's okay. If I had not been wandering Tik Tok I would not have stumbled across a powerful Dr. Who clip that inspired this whole The Epilogue. If Dane had not sent me a pretty piece of music, I would not have taken the first gift and applied, it.
Yoda was dead wrong. There is a try. Success can be a very arbitrary barometer. Successful to whom? Trying is much more important. Fail, fall flat on your face, learn, get back up and try again. Realize you are not going to jump out of the airplane with a parachute and pursue something else. Don't beat yourself up for being a coward or whatever, just realize that it is never going to be fun for you and find something that is. If one day you find yourself ready, then go for it. You might hate Scotch today and love it ten years from now. When you are out there trying you are often inspiring other people as well. Wouldn't you rather lift folks up then shove your "flawless" success in people's faces? I would always rather try and fail then just give up before I started. I'm not embarrassed about caring, trying, or hoping. I'm glad that's who I am, because it is exactly who I want to be. I have no time for cynics that only want to ridicule without ever taking a risk. Who are they helping? I had no idea that my plans for Southern Spirits would work and definitely no clue they would work this well, I only knew that I believed in my whole heart that if I built the best inventory I could, that people would find us. If I had fallen flat on my face at least I would have tried. I don't regret my failures, I regret the times I sat, mute on the sideline. My flaws and failures helped me to become the man that I am. I will fail again today and tomorrow and every other day, But I won't stop trying and the effort still pays off. We lick our wounds, we get back up, and we figure something else out. We accept our limitations, and we work with what we have. We take the blame for our mistakes, and we do our best to improve. We participate in life! My many flaws both imagined and well documented are an important part of who I am. I sat on the couch last night thinking this week that I finally had nothing and then Dane sent me that music and I rallied. I always have this belief that something will come to me eventually, even if I'm sick, sad, angry, or lost. Each week I hope I find it and I just do my best. Thanks for sticking with me throughout, it means everything.
Cheers
Keith
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