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THE EPILOGUE: NO MORE TIME FOR CYNCISM
Oh if twenty year old Keith could see me now! Yes we gained a hundred pounds but we picked up some wisdom too man! I was so proud to be a cynic. When people would call me that I would wear it as a badge of honor. I have seen through the tricks and am living in "the real world". Enjoy your shadows and illusions I will live in truth! I would tell people aloud that "I do not believe a single thing I hear." Right to their face. What a jerk! I built my walls thick and tall and guarded them with great ferocity. I was taught the tools of how to dissect things and find "flaws, holes, errors etc." and I devoted myself to this practice. I could poop on any party and rob joy from children and adults alike. I was a man on a mission trying to drag anyone near me into my joyless world. It never occurred to me that people might be telling the truth and actually enjoying their lives. I certainly was it and so my assumption was that either they were lying to themselves in a convincing fashion, faking it until they "made it", or just hoping to get away with the lies they lived upon.
Yesterday I saw "Spirited_Tracie" (on instagram) and she was wearing a shirt that said "Sourcing is not stealing" and that is true. It is VERY expensive to build and operate a distillery so it makes a great deal of sense to buy quality juice and figure out what to do with it. MGP is HUGE! They are making an epic amount of booze, plenty for folks to come along and do their own thing with. You can be cynical and demand that all of your booze come only from the people that make it and that is the only way it could be good. But if you follow that to its logical conclusion, does that mean that they also need to grow their own wheat, rye, and barley? Do you need to grow all of your own food as well? How far does the purity test go before some exceptions are made? Are there companies out there that weave absurd back stories to help create their brand rather than just saying, "we hired someone with great knowledge and taste to build a mash bill from MGP or Bardstown Bourbon Company to make a whiskey that we love." The folks over at Smooth Ambler have always been very transparent about their combining their own juice and sourced juice and I wish that more people would follow that model. At the end of the day I judge quality based on what is the bottle, but you do get bonus points for integrity.
You can be skeptical about things, in fact, I would encourage it. But if Cynicism is driving the car like it was for me, my guess is that you're not enjoying your life all that much. I can get mad that Basil Hayden costs that amount and is only eighty proof and I can't taste the rye, but people love it! If they are their house having a great time with Basil Hayden that doesn't make them saps, suckers, fools, infidels etc. In fact, they are winning, because the goal was to find a bottle they enjoy and that is what they did! My experience has given me the ability to detect flavors that may not have been intended but it does not give me special powers to decide what is the best and what is the worst. I do not care for very young whiskey because those "green" notes are off putting to me. Someone might love those, the greener the better! If I hear them and think they are lying, they are wrong, they are deluded, they are insane, that is all on me. If you are asking a question and have no interest in the answer, then you are really just wasting everyone's time.
There are certainly more than enough dishonest people in the world, but are we going to let them determine how we live our lives? Being a non stop cynic will help you avoid a scam or two or even three, but at what cost? I whole heartedly reject the concept of a cruel and mean world. Right now, there are beautiful strangers helping people in Western North Carolina and having the biggest impact on someone's life who they had never met before. They didn't have to do that, they didn't interview each person they helped to make sure they agreed that Die Hard is in fact a Christmas movie and who they voted for etc, they just helped them. You can pull out a microscope and reduce things down to black and white anytime you like. It just isn't going to be very effective. Whatever rule you created, or more likely inherited came from a guess or a reaction at some point. You say "I lke Cabernet" because someone told you that Cab was the best and then you tried a bunch of them and sure enough you fell in love with a lot of them. You only tried three Merlots, and they didn't match up to your favorite Cab so you dismissed them, and not based on a random thought but evidence! You are not just ruling out Sushi because it is "weird" you ruled it out because someone once handed you a piece and you didn't care for it. As a matter of fact, you didn't really care for the person that handed you the piece either. And one time you watched a Japanese movie, and it was not "as good as people said it was"!
If I get burned by trusting someone, giving the benefit of the doubt, hoping that tomorrow is going to be a better day, that is alright. It is not "on me" if someone abuses my friendship or trust. That is on them. You can have a small circle if you have been burned so much and so often that you need to crawl again for a while. If you are waving the white flag though on people and letting your armor fuse into your being that has a very limited return on investment. The happiest folks I ever encounter are the ones that are floating from interaction to interaction hoping that the odds continue to be in their favor. There isn't much chance of me turning into one of those but my attempts to have more confidence and trust in my fellow man has been rewarding. The times I have been able to shut off that cynical voice and move forward to an actual experience has enriched my life. The times I withdrew into my fortress of purity and truth have not helped me at all. The tests, the rules, the punishing people with my mind, the grudges, the wars, the revenge it all amounted to nothing but trouble. My cynicism really only produced hurt feelings missed opportunities and the pooping on sooooo many parties! Whereas, my lifting of others, my empowering of people, my taking risks has resulted in powerful and fantastic benefits. I can't go back in time and change anything.
It is always an uphill climb when you encounter a person devoted to cynicism. You have to spend a lot of energy just trying to communicate anything to them. That is what I was making people do with me, with an unbelievable amount of energy. Just as excited as I get about Booze, I was equally excited and motivated to smash, disprove, defeat, crush anyone excited about anything! For what reason? The avenger of truth? The flashlight of reality! Motivated by truth, fairness, and justice, I didn't care who you are, or what horse you rode in on! Oh, are you the President of the World? Well, I didn't vote for you, and you probably don't even know that Blanc De Noir is made from Pinot Noir grapes! Oh Albert Einstein? Sure, you might have discovered modern physics but don't tell me that Citizen Kane is a better movie than The Big Lebowski! I would have bragged to you about it as well. Not embarrassed that I was fighting with one of the smartest people that ever lived, but proud that I was arguing with him. Keith Haze can't be bought and paid for, and he doesn't kiss rings or butts! Well, I was wrong. I could have kept my integrity in silence, and I could have let so many more people have their fun. Being a cynic was my full-time job and my payment was aggravating everyone. Now when Hendricks re-releases there Midsommer Solstice despite saying that it was a one off and that this also will be the last time I could be a cynic and mock them or I could be like, how cool is that all of these people that loved that gin are going to get another chance to buy it. I think that is a much better way to live.
Cheers
Keith
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